Roberts Report(Ro-bear Re-por)

This year is going to be a lot scarier than last America, I mean the Democrats are in the Majority, THIS IS THE THREAT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Former U.S. Presidents- As I’m Sure you all know President Gerald Ford Died last week in his California home, America not only lost a great president, but the Republicans also lost a very important tie. Each of the last three presidents to die were Republicans, Nixon in 1994 Reagan two years ago and most recently Gerald Ford. As of now there are three former presidents, Carter Clinton and H.W. Bush. This is very dangerous America, we all know Clinton will be out womanizing the gerital generation, while Carter raises taxes and gets Americans killed in Iran. While all this is happening poor Bush will be in the corner and he’ll be left with the check for it all.

4. Kevin Federline- Now on the surface I don’t have a problem with K-Fed or the Fed-Ex, but now that he is no longer married to Britney Spears are country is facing a terrible Pandemic, K-Fed. This terriblePandemic will effect every of age girl in America. There’s only one thing to do America, we have to nip it in the butt before it happens, so if you see K-Fed you have to gun him down, but shoot him in the leg, that way its not attempted murder.

3. Al Gore- Now it’s no secret that I’m not a fan of Mr. Gore, but thsi year we have to put him on double secret probation. If we let him Continue to preach about Global Warming people are going to start to think it’s real. Now I’m not a fan of Science or any thing that endorses facts for that matter but science in general if not right for America to much thinking, they don’t go with the gut enough, so we need to go by America’s gut and stop global warming by shunning Al Gore. It’s a proven fact that if you stop thinking about somthing it not only makes it untrue it will go away for ever, and Global Warming is no different.

2. Germans- Or shall I say the Lack of Germans. A recent study has shown that the German Population has dropped for the fourth straight year in a row. Well this is alarming News america without Germans where will the Next Oppenheimer or Kissinger come from, who will invent America’s next WMD? Even though Germany’s outlook is bleak there is a very simple solution to the Problem, Send all the Mexicans to Germany. Now we all know that America is looking to get rid of the illegal aliens, well what a better way to make Europe hate us less than send all illegal mexicans to europe to take the jobs away that europeans don’t want to do.

…and the #1 threat to the New Year is

1.Bears- No Not the Godless killing machines, but the Godless Dunking Machines of UCLA. The UCLA mens bvasketball team has been mowing over opponenets like Yogi through a picnic Basket. This is very dangerous America and we have to stop it now. So if UCLA is coming to your town throw the biggest kegger your college has ever seen, I’m looking at you Long Beach State, your city does have a wild reputation and believe me it’s true. If we Do this we should get through this I mean how tough can they be they lost to a bunch of Ducks, From Oregon no less.(Damn Reffer addicts).