Roberts Report(Ro-bear Re-por)

This year is going to be a lot scarier than last America, I mean the Democrats are in the Majority, THIS IS THE THREAT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. Former U.S. Presidents- As I’m Sure you all know President Gerald Ford Died last week in his California home, America not only lost a great president, but the Republicans also lost a very important tie. Each of the last three presidents to die were Republicans, Nixon in 1994 Reagan two years ago and most recently Gerald Ford. As of now there are three former presidents, Carter Clinton and H.W. Bush. This is very dangerous America, we all know Clinton will be out womanizing the gerital generation, while Carter raises taxes and gets Americans killed in Iran. While all this is happening poor Bush will be in the corner and he’ll be left with the check for it all.

4. Kevin Federline- Now on the surface I don’t have a problem with K-Fed or the Fed-Ex, but now that he is no longer married to Britney Spears are country is facing a terrible Pandemic, K-Fed. This terriblePandemic will effect every of age girl in America. There’s only one thing to do America, we have to nip it in the butt before it happens, so if you see K-Fed you have to gun him down, but shoot him in the leg, that way its not attempted murder.

3. Al Gore- Now it’s no secret that I’m not a fan of Mr. Gore, but thsi year we have to put him on double secret probation. If we let him Continue to preach about Global Warming people are going to start to think it’s real. Now I’m not a fan of Science or any thing that endorses facts for that matter but science in general if not right for America to much thinking, they don’t go with the gut enough, so we need to go by America’s gut and stop global warming by shunning Al Gore. It’s a proven fact that if you stop thinking about somthing it not only makes it untrue it will go away for ever, and Global Warming is no different.

2. Germans- Or shall I say the Lack of Germans. A recent study has shown that the German Population has dropped for the fourth straight year in a row. Well this is alarming News america without Germans where will the Next Oppenheimer or Kissinger come from, who will invent America’s next WMD? Even though Germany’s outlook is bleak there is a very simple solution to the Problem, Send all the Mexicans to Germany. Now we all know that America is looking to get rid of the illegal aliens, well what a better way to make Europe hate us less than send all illegal mexicans to europe to take the jobs away that europeans don’t want to do.

…and the #1 threat to the New Year is

1.Bears- No Not the Godless killing machines, but the Godless Dunking Machines of UCLA. The UCLA mens bvasketball team has been mowing over opponenets like Yogi through a picnic Basket. This is very dangerous America and we have to stop it now. So if UCLA is coming to your town throw the biggest kegger your college has ever seen, I’m looking at you Long Beach State, your city does have a wild reputation and believe me it’s true. If we Do this we should get through this I mean how tough can they be they lost to a bunch of Ducks, From Oregon no less.(Damn Reffer addicts).

There’s a lot of Evil out there America, luckily I’m here to expose it. THIS IS THE THREAT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. U.K. Teens- A recent survey shows that the rate of teen pregnancys are at an all time low in Britian. Let’s just face the facts, another recent survey has shown that in the next thirty years whites will be the minority in every country. With the Brits humping less this can only lead to terrible problems. Not only will there be less real Brtis being born, but now the caucasin Brits will now be in grave danger. I mean lets face the facts, Britian is a God awful country, and it leads one to drink, if the British teens aren’t having sex then they will end up getting into drunken brawls which will then be spread all over the google. I’ve worked it down to a simple math equation

British Teens+Alchol-Sex=Danger

So I’m going to be blunt, British teens, start having unprotected sex with many anonomous partners, because if you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem.

4. K-Mart- Now you all know I’m not a fan of Chain Stores, they’re the work of the Devil, but yesterday K-Mart and their ad campaign rubbed me the wrong way. First they refuse to say “Merry Christmas” because some radical leftist wackos don’t like it, but now they are opened all day Thanksgiving. Now denying Christ and damning yuorself to an eternity in Hell is one thing, but if your not even going to recognize a strictly American Holiday, then they Just made the Dead to me list!

3. The History Channel-First of all I would like to apllaued them for having the rock hard balls of steel to show an anti-thanksgiving show on thanksgiving, so the pilgrims killed a few million innocent idians, boo freaking whoo indians, lets just say hypothetically the US army killed a few hundred thousend innocnet cambodian civilians in Vietnam, no one wants to hear about those hypothetical deaths they wnat to hear about the Communist government we purposly set up inn Vietnam, I mean we always knew it was going to be the most dangerous place to fly over in the world, just like the pilgrims knew what a great counry America would be.

2. Logo- Now Logo is the Gay and lesbian channel. What happened to the good old days when Gays were ashamed to “Come Out”? Now there are entire shows dedicated to “Coming Out”. I think the Military says it best “Don’t ask Don’t Tell” because thats just wrong Logo. Those people shouldn’t be glorified for Coming out they should be shunned.

…and the #1 threat to America’s Saftey is.. 

1.Bears- No not the Godless killing machines, but the Chicago Variety. they have been tearing the NFL a new one, we haven’t seen domination like this since the 1985 Bears beat america’s team the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl. Now I hate everything from New England, but that time Bears went to far. Now if the Chicago Bears are coming to your town do anything you can to stop them, remember your little sister is never to young to become a whore, just ask the boys Michael Jackson molested. I figure if we band together we can stop this epidemic before it spreads to Baseball, I’m talking to you Chicago Cubs, If this continues we may have to euphinize the entire city of Chicago.

You know America with the Mid-Term Elections happening right now there are many things threatening your saftey and I’m going to tell you why you need to vote. This Is The Threat Down!

5. All the cool kids are doing it- I know that you may be thinking “what the Hell are you talking about voter turn out is at all time lows”. Well once again you have the facts straigh, but missed the point entirely. Since when does doing what everyone else does cool? Be a rebel vote, and don’t just rebel by voting, rebel by voting Republican.

4. What Else are You Going to Do with your time- America do you really need to sit around and not vote? Is desperate Housewives more important than America? If you answered yes to any of those questions then maybe you should be living in France not America.

3. Do You Really want this running your country?If you go out and vote for your Local Democrat and they retake the House then Rep. Nancy Pelosi will most likely become the first female speaker of the House. Most of you may be thinking so what’s the big deal, well the problem is you just don’t know her enough. Being from California I have had the misfortune of seeing her liberal secular progressive values first hand, and trust me she doesn’t want what’s best for America.

2. Or This Running the Country-

Many highly Liberal canidates like Sen. Ted Kennedy and Sen. Hillary Clinton are up for re-election and is anyone really ready for six more years of their liberal values? Ted Kennedy is a known murderer and Hillary Clinton is just a huge hypocrite talking about women being betrayed and how it is wrong yet still standing on Bill’s side even sfter he admitted to having an affair.

 -And the #1 threat to America, which should make you want to vote:

1. Bears- No not the godless killing machine kind the godless marriage killing kind. Many states such as Virginia and New Jersey Have gay marriage propositions that they are voting on today that would allow gay marriage. Now I have close ties in Virginia, My family lives there and I vaction there just about every year, so remember if you live in a state that is voting on Gay marriage for God’s Sake run to you local polling place and vote, because gay marriage is just wrong, not to mention Gross.